


Holy Mother Fuck Its A Semi Truck

by captainfyer



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Gen, I had fun though, I should try writing seriously, Ive never written anything before, This was a joke for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-18
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-13 16:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2157060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainfyer/pseuds/captainfyer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I just want to die, and fuck off to heaven, with my filet steak. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holy Mother Fuck Its A Semi Truck

**Author's Note:**

> For my beloved Sammi.
> 
>  
> 
> this is bullshit. its bullshit.

It was late in the night and Officer Vi was cruising down the road on her cool as heck motorcycle, wearing her kick-ass aviators and casually eating her cliche as fuck cop donut. It had been a pretty great night considering she had caught like 10 criminals probably, and roughed them up because she's just Bad like that. Vi smirked. Yeah she's pretty bad. And fucking cool. Also damn attractive. Vi glanced at herself in one of her little motorcycle side mirrors, smirk growing.

_Yeah I'd fuck me._

We all would Vi, we all would.

With the wind billowing her half-shaved hair behind her, the air a pleasant temperature, and the night sky clear, she couldn't help but continue feeling fucking fantastic. That was until she began riding over the bridge that crossed over this like, big fucking river that was way dangerous. Right as she began crossing, the police radio built into her super cool motorcycle beeped, signaling that someone was trying to reach her. After a second of static, Vi's coworker, Officer Caitlyn's voice came in over the receiver.

"Hey Vi, it's me again, it looks like we've got another situation."

Momentarily distracted, Vi didn't notice the semi coming her way swerving like a fucking mad man was driving it. She pushed the button on her bike to respond.

"Ayo Cait, what is it this time?"

"...Yes, okay, so it's-"

"Shit, hold up." Vi cut Caitlyn off because she fucking finally noticed the semi and had like 2 seconds to react. The semi's brakes had been applied and was about 30 feet in front of her with the long tail end sliding towards her from the right. Dropping her donut, she swiftly shifted all her weight and turned the bike to the left, effectively bringing her and her sweet motorcycle vertical to the ground, and skidding underneath the larger part of the semi. After she first made contact with the ground, she let go of the bike so as not to continue being dragged along with it. The bike continued sliding with Such Incredible Force, it slammed through the cement railing of the old bridge and plummeted into the big fucking river that was way dangerous below.

Crisis averted, Vi slowly stood up and patted the dust off of herself, lightly panting as she did so. She was a little freaked out because holy fuck was that sudden and scary, but she was smiling to herself because _holy fuck was that badass._ Her smile quickly faded though when the realization hit her that her super cool tricked out cop motorcycle was lost forever to the churning void of the river below. She stood and stared over the railing silently until Caitlyn's voice cut in through her mourning via her second radio receiver around her waist.

"Vi? Vi, is everything alright?"

Sighing, Vi turned away from the river and began making her way down the road in the direction she came. As she passed by the front of the semi truck, she noticed there was no driver, and looking around, she could see nobody nearby.

_What the fuck._

What the fuck, indeed.

"Vi, what the fuck. Are you there?"

Sighing again, she trudged over to where her cliche as fuck cop donut lay on the ground, looking a little worse for the wear. Picking it up, she brushed it off and brought it to her mouth, taking a bite. 

Fuck germs or whatever, she was going to eat that damn donut.

"Vi, I hope you're not ignoring me on purpose."

Finally picking up the little clip end connected to her police radio, she pressed the button and sighed for a third time into the microphone, as she began to speak "I just want to die, and fuck off to heaven, with my filet steak. "

"Vi, I was- wait, what?"

Vi rolled her eyes and shook her head to herself.

"Nothing." she said, "Um, I just lost my bike, I think I'm gonna need a ride."

"Vi, what? How did you lose your bike?"

Vi sighed again, shorter this time "Look I dont want to-"

She cut herself off when her eyes caught sight of the semi truck again, all alone, and gleaming beautifully in the moonlight. Smirking and turning back to her microphone, she changed her mind. "Scratch that, I've got it covered."

Caitlyn's voice came in again over the receiver but Vi ignored it, heading to the semi and hopping in. She tested the loud as hell semi horn before starting it up and maneuvering her way off that big, annoying bridge.

And that was the night Vi brought in like 20 more criminals probably, to the police station in the back of one largely misunderstood semi truck.

She kept it, and named it, and they lived happily ever after.

The end.

  -----  ----- -- - - - ---

**Author's Note:**

> complete and utter bullshit.


End file.
